Once upon a time, I was with my owner, in a city. We were going to museums and touring the city on a bus. All of a sudden, I felt a gust of wind. I was blown right out of my owner’s hands! Faraway, I heard my owner crying. I was so sad, but then scared. A big brown bird with talons landed on me. It lifted me high up into the air. I could see hundreds of people from my view. I could even see my owner crying on the big tour bus. Suddenly, an airplane scared the hawk holding me, making it drop me into the soft lap of my owner on the tour bus. My little girl was so happy, and decided to never bring me to the big city ever again.
WOW! Great writing! 😉
Awesome Story! 😁
Dear Isabelle,
Great job on your first post! I like how you used the word talons instead of just saying claws. Strong vocabulary makes your post interesting to read! Next time maybe you can give the little girl and name to make your reader connected with her. Keep up the good work!
Mrs. Schmidt
Your post make me want to read more of your writing. I wish there were names to your characters make it a little more connected.
Hey Isabelle,
I loved your post! it was so funky and fun. I liked how you made your writing very engaging and I liked how things came out of nowhere like the big bird!
I would have liked if you gave a name to the main character or your story. Here is a link to my blog so you can come and see my writing sometime. http://hollyw619.edublogs.org/. Keep writing cool blogs.
Holly